Sitting behind a computer screen, it is very easy to tell your online friends that everything is fine and dandy. However the reality could be completely the opposite.
Liv and I have now found ourselves on our own, entirely my decision and one I am glad that I made. I hope that once everything is done, dusted and settled then I can move on with my life and finally find the happiness that I truly deserve.
Life is for want of a better phrase… pretty goddam tough, the finances have taken a huge battering and unfortunately as a self employed mum who works from home, no nice hand outs from the government for me. Makes me actually begrudge paying my National Insurance Contributions! So I shall continue to work as hard as I can in the 2 hours, 3 mornings I get free when Liv is at pre-school. Along with the financial side, I pretty much kissed goodbye to the smallest amount of help that I did get.
You assume that your friends and the people closest to you will rally around and make sure you are both ok. Wrong!! This is the time when you find out exactly who your true friends really are! My faith was restored earlier this evening when my lovely neighbours who live across from me mentioned to let them know if I need any DIY doing and they will help. Never one to ask for help though I will always try to repair things before begging! As yet I have not been able to go out and get “plastered” but that is most definitely on the cards before Christmas.
Talking of Christmas, it is going to be an immensely tough time. My main priority is to make sure there is food on the table for Liv as opposed to presents under the tree. The fact that Liv’s birthday is on the 30th December will make it even harder but I am having a lovely cake made for her birthday and her friends are being invited and I am sure we will all make it a special day for her. I am grateful that my parents will make the long journey from the South of France to be here with us, it will also mean I can finally go out and have some “me” time!!
So if I appear grumpy or not my usual happy -go-lucky self you know why!
Obviously my time has been taken up playing Mummy and Daddy as well as “good cop/bad cop” but hopefully I will be back blogging soon and no doubt there will be a few more personal posts, so until then please bear with me! :O) x