Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
This song maybe considerably older than me, but it still rings true. It’s been a crazy week, working hard, and drinking coffee with friends, trying to make sense of men, but I’ve decided there just ain’t enough coffee in the world to make sense of the male mind!
I once thought I could read men like a book, but how wrong I was. My first foray back into the goldfish bowl of the dating scene has left me more confused than ever. We are told all the time “honesty is the best policy”, but that doesn’t seem to happen in the dating world. How difficult is it for a man to say “hi had a great time, but you’re not my type”. End of. Move on.
When discussing this post with my friend Kykaree (Not Even a Bag of Sugar) she raised her eyebrows and said “what, honesty and men in the same blog post? Just don’t try putting them in the same sentence!”
We are all guilty of sitting with our friends over analysing male behaviour – ‘how did he say it/ what else did he say/ what was he doing when he said it/ how was he standing/ what direction were his shoelaces pointing?’
Though surely if men were just honest from the start and told us how they felt then there would be no need for us to spend precious time dwelling over what was said and how it was said. If everyone was just honest about how they felt then surely no matter how much it hurt at the time you would appreciate just knowing the truth?
Another lovely friend gave her opinion (quote) “In theory that’s true, but it means that you are willing to be very blunt and could really hurt and embarrass someone by telling the truth.” Whilst that may be true, surely to be kept waiting for that phone call that never comes, to be looking forward to another date that’s never going to happen, to have your best knickers ready and your pulling top freshly pressed ready for action is so much worse than a polite “had a great time, but I’d like to see other people”. Or the old classic “it’s not you, it’s me“. To me, anything is preferable that just to be kept waiting…..and waiting…..and waiting.
I like to think that I am thick skinned and will take honesty on the chin as constructive criticism and work with it as such. Someone showing me the common courtesy to be honest would be seen as a sign of respect for me.
So none the wiser when it comes to the male train of thought, I am going to start the new week with a smile on my face ready for more over analysing no doubt. It seems expecting honesty is asking too much!
What are your thoughts? What would you rather? Potentially be hurt by hearing the truth, or kept hanging on?
Special thanks to a certain lovely lady for your help… your cups of tea rock!!xx