Home Men My Week: Men… And The Video That Can Never Be Unseen

My Week: Men… And The Video That Can Never Be Unseen

by S1m

We are only on Wednesday… pre lunchtime and already this week has been a shocker!

It all boils down to men…

The absolute bane of my life at the moment!

So… Needy, an ex is back on the scene and yet again I am proving I am my own worst enemy. Having had a heart to heart of sorts, we both agreed we still liked each other and the question was laid out, ‘what did I want to happen’. Cool. Except nothing is happening. It really is the same shit, different day with him. He drives me mad, but weirdly enough is the only guy from this year that I would go back to.

Another blast from my past messaged last night, completely out of the blue, to ask if I fancied a night of fun. I contemplated this for a moment, he could hold a conversation, was tall, dark and handsome and packed a nice lunchbox… then the inevitable came… a night of fun… and invite some others. *Facepalm* Needless to say, I have not replied!

If you are reading this and are single, you will no doubt fully empathise with my situation. Men are simple creatures with simple minds and as such, it is best to treat them with this in mind. Spell things out for them, in other words… make it simple! Though this week is a regular occurence. It is irritating and soul destroying, even for the strongest amongst us!

If you are reading this and you are in a relationship, then stop your farking whinging! Yes, sometimes the grass really can be greener on the other side… but at least you will know who you are dealing with. You will know how their mind works, you do not have to carry out inane small talk, you do not have to worry about looking like a desperado sending a message, when you messaged last anyway. Oh gosh, the list is endless and I really could rant on all day about this. At least Heather is totally backing my corner on this one, we are both agreed that men suck!

Though the pièce de résistance this week, came on Monday night… I would love to say this was a once in a blue experience, when you are dating, it unfortunately is not (refer to my selfie post!)

I had been chatting with a seemingly decent chap, he ticked all my boxes and so it progressed to swapping numbers, a couple of Whatsapp messages… and then he phoned me. I do tend to like this approach as you get an instant feeling about someone and it takes big cajones (Mexican slang for balls!) to ring someone you do not really know, it’s quite personal. His sense of humour was somewhat like mine, I do not know if I actually liked this or not! He seemed too excitable, spoke far too quickly and I found myself losing track of the conversation quite easily and he liked to talk about his cock… a lot! Back to messaging and he clearly was itching to show me, despite my protestations that I have seen it all before (I have! My phone gallery is awesome!), but no… this guy wanted to take it one step further… he was really embarrassed about a ‘little problem he had’…

A tight foreskin.

Cue raised eyebrow and the need to Google this problem… personally I couldn’t see what he problem was. We all have flaws, I am no Kate Moss, but I am quite comfortable in my skin and rock the curves. Maybe he just had a confidence problem and needed reassurance…

He sent me a video.

I kid you not.

He sent me a video of him unveiling his aforementioned tight foreskinned knob.

There are certain things you can never unsee. Thanks to this man, I shall never now unsee this image. Clearly he was really embarrassed, to the point of super excitement at sending me the video. I could just see him jumping up and down, clapping like an excited seal…. newbies to online dating are always too eager to please and catch up with the pack. They do not realise that ladies (like myself) do not appreciate such images, it is not endearing and it certainly isn’t pretty!

Sigh. Facepalm. Sigh. Hit head on desk. Is it really only Wednesday?!

I am getting my jacket now and heading up to the cat sanctuary… see you on the other side!

Image courtesy of pixabay.com


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Heather October 15, 2014 - 11:59 am

Oh jesus. A video? A fecking video? What a knob. Literally and figuratively. *rolls eyes*

S1m October 15, 2014 - 12:26 pm

Hahahah why are you so surprised?! His nickname is legendary… he has to go down in our hall of fame! 😉 x

aimee October 15, 2014 - 12:22 pm

I was this week hit on by a guy who makes me feel physically sick anyway, while he knew full well I was making arrangements for my mothers funeral. I kid you not. I shall WhatsApp you the messages

S1m October 15, 2014 - 12:25 pm

Arrrrrrgh men just have no common sense whatsoever – they push the boundaries but prefer it when we say no anyway. I just don’t get them anymore… they all suck! Hope you are ok chick x

Liz Burton October 15, 2014 - 1:06 pm

He did WHAAT??!

Good grief, posts like this make me so glad I’m not in the game anymore. I don’t think I could take it!

S1m October 15, 2014 - 1:25 pm

Exactly!! Heather and I are pretty strong characters but it is even slowly breaking us!
He seemed so proud of what he had done… bork!!

Pinkoddy October 15, 2014 - 1:07 pm

OMG you must be sex fiends you single ladies – I mean for goodness sakes why do these single men have this infactuation with sending you pics of their cocks, never mind videos. I think you’d have got more excited at a video of him visiting a Pandora store and buying you a bracelet and charms.

Don’t think this behaviour is limited to singles though. I have an ex-friend who was a self confessed swinger….and we will leave that there because i am a family brand…..

S1m October 15, 2014 - 1:20 pm

Ha ha ha yeah the swinging thing just doesn’t do it for me… I don’t like to share! 😉
I wouldn’t mind, we do not encourage it in the slightest… back in the day it was hilarious… now it’s a case of opening an image and thinking ‘oh, it’s another cock… literally!’
Men suck!!x

Mum of One October 15, 2014 - 3:21 pm

Oh…my…God. He sent you a video? That is insane. I’m with Liz. I am hanging on to Mr B even tighter now. I would never survive the dating scene! Good luck lovely lady x

Jenny @ The Brick Castle October 15, 2014 - 6:36 pm

I’m so pleased I never had to get into all of this. I met my other half on a good old-fashioned forum – and a VW forum at that – clothed photo’s only!

S1m October 16, 2014 - 10:38 am

It was all sexy pics of your vans with you guys!! 😉 xx

Jennifer October 15, 2014 - 7:35 pm

Wow, I can’t imagine (and nor do I want to!), things have certainly changed a lot since I was last dating, I couldn’t cope!

Beth October 16, 2014 - 1:19 pm

I want to laugh… but I don’t. But I will… because men are ummm… you said it simple. They all seem to think they cam woo lovely ladies with a cock shot. Ahem…

Louise October 17, 2014 - 4:32 pm

It’s funny & annoying at the same time how guys often think sending pictures of their thingy would eventually make them be real men or that it will make the other party horny whatsoever.

Guys should stop doing this because I believe they degrade themselves by doing this. Geez.

S1m October 17, 2014 - 4:35 pm

Men suck! I think it comes down to the fact they want you to tell them their willy is the biggest you have ever seen. I am so desperate to tell them I have seen bigger! 😉

John October 17, 2014 - 4:56 pm

I am a man and I’m not gonna do what your ex did. That would be embarrassing. You can post it anywhere if situation didn’t go as planned. LoL.

S1m October 17, 2014 - 6:49 pm

You would think it is embarrassing… it also makes a mockery of the unwrapping a present analogy… where is the romance? The wooing? the excitement leading up to it all? 🙁 Men!

Sarj October 17, 2014 - 5:19 pm

Okay, that was awkward. really awkward..I don’t know why guys are like that. Do they think that showing off their package would make women look at them with respect? Have some dignity and self-reservation.

S1m October 17, 2014 - 6:34 pm

I have absolutely no idea, but I woke up to another willy shot the morning after I wrote that post… from another guy. It is all very amusing and it’s not working they way they hope it will when they send through!

Sarj October 17, 2014 - 5:21 pm

I hope my first comment got through..

Loudthinkin October 17, 2014 - 5:29 pm

I am sure he has a framed one of it in his room 😉 things that backfire!

S1m October 17, 2014 - 6:20 pm

Ha ha ha! Good call! I really wouldn’t be surprised! 😉 Can imagine he dusts it with a feather duster too!

Katrina Centeno October 18, 2014 - 7:48 am

Omygosh! Block the perv! Why would he ruin the nice image of him in your head? Hope you will get over that image.

S1m October 19, 2014 - 8:01 pm

Oh you can bet your sweet ass he is blocked! I couldn’t believe it – he was really cute and seemed nice… they all do… that’s how they suck you in 🙁

Jason Panuelos October 18, 2014 - 9:59 am

I think you handled yourself quite well considering! Haha! It must have been so disturbing!! :))

S1m October 19, 2014 - 8:00 pm

Very much so! Men are weird and I am a definite magnet for the craziest of them all! Makes me even more jaded and bitter towards the ones who are lovely!

Fred October 19, 2014 - 12:37 am

I cannot imagine why a man would send a lady he was interested in a video like that. It would surely turn them off for sure. Good riddance.

S1m October 19, 2014 - 7:58 pm

Men are weird… unfortunately there are so many like him on the dating scene. I seem to be a magnet for them! 🙁

Karen L. October 19, 2014 - 11:19 am

Mama Mia!! Men and their delusions of grandeur! Hope that’s the last unsolicited video you’ll ever see my dear.

S1m October 19, 2014 - 7:54 pm

Unfortunately I doubt it very much… however I do love the fact it all gives me inspiration for posts. Just a shame I cannot make everything public! 😉

Ling Tan October 19, 2014 - 3:09 pm

OH Dear!!!! It’s true, I don’t miss the dating scene very much – it’s like you’ve to go through so many and it gets tiring! But press on babe – there’s a fellow out there for ya!

S1m October 19, 2014 - 7:53 pm

Thanks sweets! I am pressing on, despite wanting to give up on so many occasions! This year has rocked and I still have another 2 and a bit months to cause as much trouble as possible! 😉

Franc Ramon October 19, 2014 - 5:11 pm

I think he is too self conscious and probably vain. Too bad, you can’t unsee that video.

S1m October 19, 2014 - 7:52 pm

I have no idea what his problem was, but he is most certainly blocked now! Lord knows how many women he has sent that too! He clearly has no shame!

Kang October 19, 2014 - 5:21 pm

So I was going to message you to see how your training was going but dear lord this post is priceless!!

How does it escalate so quickly from the phone call to him sharing his bits….
What a great weekend read 🙂

Hope all is well otherwise.

S1m October 19, 2014 - 7:48 pm

Ha ha ha sorry Kang… you have beaten me to my post this week! Only ran twice this week but have finished my week 2… moving on to week 3 tomorrow. Have figured that by speeding up some what I am putting less pressure on my knees and I am finding it easier. Am actually running as opposed to jogging… will see how it goes tomorrow. Thanks for checking up on me! Am curious as to how the low carb diet has gone!

Oh lord… I only wish I could blog everything that happens… I am saving it all for the book! 😉

Rebecca Wong October 20, 2014 - 3:33 am

OMG~~ this guy really leave my speechless. There are times I really don’t understand how a guy’s mind work. I once received some of these kind of photos from some guys, and till today I still can’t “unsee” the images, no matter how I hard I try. =_=||

S1m October 20, 2014 - 12:54 pm

He definitely took it to the next level with a video… he had wanted to Skype me so I was lucky! 😉

Pingerrain*Priscilla October 20, 2014 - 8:20 am

Your EX seriously have NO CLUE, and he just consider you as a trophy girl. Glad you move on, girl. He needs to get a life himself.

The 2nd guy really have issues. I mean, he take his “little flaw” like, “please-take-pity-on-me-and-spend-a-night-with-me-kinda-person.”
Ignore him big time!! Pluueessseee.. he doesn’t understand what R-E-S-P-E-C-T is!!!

Pissed. (>_<)


S1m October 20, 2014 - 12:53 pm

Ha! I have never come across a man who does have a clue! They are all stupid and do not know a good thing when it slaps them around the face with a wet fish! I give up!!

Phylicia Marie Pineda October 22, 2014 - 10:51 am

Oh men. This is precisely why I’ve placed a pause on my dating game. Guys just need to get themselves together first! Gosh.

S1m October 22, 2014 - 12:11 pm

I am thinking along the same lines to be honest – take some time out for me, re-group and then start afresh!

eliz frank October 24, 2014 - 1:38 pm

This is disturbing news to receive from someone you barely know… How awful. I hope you’ve recovered and waved him goodbye.

S1m October 25, 2014 - 1:03 pm

Tell me about it! Oh he was blocked straight away… what a numpty! My block list grows ever longer each day!

Linz Wileman November 9, 2014 - 6:29 pm

New to your blog and actually lol’d at this…will be coming back for more!

S1m November 10, 2014 - 1:13 pm

Thanks Linz! You can always guarantee that as long as I am dating, there will always be some crazy experience to write about! 🙂 x


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