From the moment we turn three years old and start understanding what all the fuss is about, we start having preconceived ideas of what we want Christmas to be, which is basically a warm cocktail made up of happiness, fun, amazement, magic, coziness, slight intoxication, merriment and cheer. Oh and presents. Lots of presents. We want it to be everything we see in the adverts and more. We want it to be better than last year’s even though last years was the best one ever.
So the very thought of ruining Christmas is not worth thinking about. That kind of mishap is what could see you labelled a terrible person for the rest of your life. That’s the kind of thing that could get put on your headstone at the end of time.
So, in an attempt to help you not be that person, we have pulled together a list of things you should absolutely, in no uncertain terms, avoid doing:
- No Politics
Religion and politics are not conversation topics you want at the dinner table. Even though an overwhelming amount of people detest Trump, it is not worth voicing your opinion at that moment in time. Decade-long family feuds have begun from innocent festive politics.
- No Your Limits
There is likely going to be one person that gets obnoxiously drunk, and someone that will have to take them home early. Don’t be that person. It is a surefire way to a) not get invited around to your in-laws again and b) spend every subsequent Christmas at home, alone.
- Don’t Forget Oil & Grit
That’s right. There are two unfortunate lapses in memory that can really ruin Christmas: running out of oil and spending the day in the emergency room with Aunt Prue. To avoid this, make sure you top up on Campus Oil home heating oil and make sure you grit your driveway – and doorstep – each evening.
- Don’t Rewrap Presents
Nothing is more embarrassing – and rude – than rewrapping the present you got last year and accidentally giving it to the person who bought it for you. Especially if you forgot to take the original tag off. You can try and play it off as a joke, but you will likely dig a much deeper hole.
- Play Santa With Caution
One of the best ways to become the Christmas hero is to dress up as Santa and entertain the kids, keeping the spirit of Christmas well and truly alive with a ho ho ho. However, you will quickly become the villain if you forget your audience and remove your beard in front of them. It isn’t worth running the risk, or the hard stares.
- No Fussy Eaters
It is absolutely fine to turn up to your host’s home as a fussy eater, or with very specific dietary requirements, so long as you gave them ample warning beforehand. Don’t just show up on the day and tell them you are a vegan who can’t eat gluten or veg. It will be the worst atmosphere after that.